A Letter to My Significant Other About My PTSD
I have PTSD there is no cure yet but I can and will
be treated for it.
I have triggers and I will teach them to you as I figure
them out myself.
I know you did not ask for this but either did I, together
maybe we can work it out.
I have issues with trust that have nothing to do with you,
please stand by me anyway.
I have issues with anger that you can’t believe, but I can
learn to control my reactions.
I have a tendency to self medicate with alcohol and drugs
because they help me escape.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and would never want or
mean to hurt you or our kids.
I will learn to gauge my triggers so I can better control
my frustration, rage and anger.
I will stay busy, because free time and worry exacerbate
my PTSD symptoms.
I will never forget the trauma I have been through, but I
want to go forward with my life.
I realize that good and bad stress is a trigger, so stress is
something we will try to avoid.
I know that the anniversary of my trauma will always cause
a rise in my PTSD symptoms.
I hold in a lot of anger, so sometimes I take things out on
the wrong people, my loved ones.
I know my anger can go from A-Z immediately without
any kind of warning for you.
I especially dread holidays, they are reminders, but with
time this dread will be lessoned.
I am diagnosed with PTSD but that does not make my
flashbacks or hallucinations go away.
I have a lot of fear, I try not to show. One of my greatest
fears is me or someone I love dying.
I do know that once a fear is conquered it loses its power
to hurt or haunt me anymore.
I have a lot of anxiety all of the time, it is very hard for
me to ever totally relax.
I do know when my anxiety levels increase my PTSD
symptoms are on the rise, I may need help.
I have intimacy issues because I feel like the people
I care about always die in the end.
I don’t want to get close to anyone because I don’t want to
lose anyone else that I love.
I have a lot of guilt about things I have had to do, also
because I did not die and I survived.
I share these things as a peace offering of the things I
cannot change but am willing to work on.
If my alcohol and drug abuse start getting out of hand,
I will need professional help.
If I can not learn to control my addiction to adrenaline,I will end up in trouble or jail.
If I don’t try and explain this to you, my significant other,
how can I expect you to understand.
If I face that I have PTSD and do all I can to help myself
that means PTSD does not have me.
Your Loving Warrior