Sports Interviews With Morgan Adsit: Brian Roberts, Orioles Second Baseman

Sports Interviews With Morgan Adsit: Brian Roberts, Orioles Second Baseman

Brian Roberts missed more than a year of Baltimore Orioles games as he recovered from his second concussion during an eight-month span. He made his return to live baseball action May 23 in Bowie with the Baysox, and returned to the Orioles June 12, hitting three singles and a sacrifice fly RBI during an 8-6 win against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

Morgan Adsit: How does it feel to actually talk about playing in a game versus everything else?

Brian Roberts: It's great. You know, I've done so much talking, unfortunately, about injuries and rehab and that sort of stuff, and now I get to get on the field and talk about the actual stuff that I enjoy doing. [Playing for the Baysox] was a lot of fun. It was something that was obviously a long time coming, and I wasn't really sure I would ever get there at times, but [playing again] made it all worth it.

MA: Now that you're here, of course it's still going to be a process, but how did you feel?

BR: I actually felt a lot better than I thought I was going to. After a year, I had no idea what to expect and everything I'd been through. It's not like my elbow was affected. It was my brain, which obviously is fairly important out here, and not having been in a batter's box except for watching a bullpen session or things like that, I just didn't know how fast the game was going to be, and it was encouraging for the first night. 

MA: It's such a mental game. You have to, as you said, have your brain know the pitch count, know the situation and know your next move instinctively. Were you worried when you initially thought, "brain injury," that baseball couldn't be played to the level that you wanted?
BR: Well, initially probably not, but as time went on, yes. I just didn't know enough about concussions when I had my first one to really understand the magnitude of it, and the severity is different obviously for each one. As I got into the process, I started to understand more and more, and gain more and more knowledge and understanding about it. That's when certainly you start to wonder, "Am I ever going to be able to do this at a high level again?" But my doctors continued to assure me that they thought I was going in the right direction, that they really still believed once I got through all this, that I was going to get back to the same person that I was, and that helped me keep pushing.

MA: I played basketball. I've had concussions, but I got hit directly in the nose, so you know the relation to it. But yours could affect people differently. Is that kind of the grasp of what you had?

BR: What I've learned is that each one is unique to each individual, and people heal differently. Their brains heal differently. Different regions of the brain are affected differently. I did gain a big understanding of at least my own individual case, and then some of the differences between mine and others. When I began to understand mine in the vestibular aspect, which was kind of what was affected in my brain, I started to understand things that were affected by it. I went out for a bike ride one day and didn't realize how incredibly difficult it is on your vestibular system to do that, when my doctors said, "Yeah, yeah, it really is." I just didn't understand, and there were things that I probably was doing on a daily basis and I didn't really know that I was almost making things worse sometimes.

MA: Do you still have symptoms? Do you still feel a lingering "I'm not 100 percent"?

BR: There are still things that I battle every now and then, but for the most part everything has been very good recently. ... The ups and downs are sometimes maybe not that much different than other people who might not sleep well or just have bad days. I think some of it is part of what I am just going to deal with and hopefully can push through.   

MA: What did you learn most about yourself during this process?

BR: Well, I learned that I wasn't in control, that's for sure. It made my faith come full circle and believe and know that as much as I wanted to think that I had this all under control and I could make it work, it just wasn't. There are some things in your body and some things that happen in your life that are just out of your control, and you have to take the good from those things. As hard as it's been, I've tried to take some good things from it and learn from it and use it for good as best as possible.

MA: You've been in Baltimore. You've been traveling with the team, too. How difficult has it been ... to watch, to not be a part of it, but then to see the success of the team and what is capable of the guys who are there now?

BR: [It's] bittersweet, I guess. Since I'm the longest-tenured guy there, to see this kind of start [for the first time] since 2005 really, and I've waited and waited to see that happen again and feel that excitement. To have to do it on the bench -- not that it's a negative, because I still have enjoyed being out there with the guys and cheering them on and enjoying their successes with them -- but at the same time, I'm dying to be out there and I want to be a part of it on the field. But I'm thankful that I'm here and wasn't in Sarasota having to watch it on TV every night.

MA: Have you really learned to take it day by day? You always hear people say it, but do you really understand what day by day now means?

BR: I definitely have a new appreciation for that, I think. I've used that term many times and people kind of made fun of me because I've said it so often. But through the course of the process, it really became that. I was waking up every day and I didn't know if it was going to be a good day or a bad day or a miserable day. So I really did try to take 24 hours at a time and my doctor really stressed that that was important. Because the more I looked to the future or looked backwards, the worse off it was. If you look to the future and you're not doing the things you want to do, then it makes it hard. If you look backwards and see what you've missed out on, it makes it hard, too, instead of living in the moment, living in the day, trying to get better every day and making good strides.

MA: Your absolute worst day, what was that like? I know you talked about not being able to get out of bed, how conversations were different.

BR: My darkest days were probably mostly spent in the house, lying on the couch or in bed just trying to get rid of a screaming headache, trying to be able to function, having some desire for life, to eat, to drink, to do anything really. Fortunately, my wife walked me through a lot of those days and was there by my side, because those days were definitely hard. But fortunately, they're behind me, and hopefully we'll never go back to those. 

Watch Morgan Adsit on "Sports Unlimited" on Fox 45 Baltimore, at 5:30 p.m., 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. weekdays and at 10 p.m. weekends. Follow her on Twitter: @MorganAdsit.            
                                                       
Issue 174: June 2012